Proof of Intelligent Life on Pluto
Back when I was a kid Pluto was considered to be a planet. Somehow over the years the guys with the pocket protectors declared that it wasn’t really a planet, which I think they only did to sell new text books but that’s a subject for another column. This morning a spacecraft that was launched 9 years ago has discovered that there must be intelligent life on Pluto.
The plans to design the NASA New Horizon spacecraft to explore the cosmos began back in October of the year 2000, which ironically was around the time of Dale Earnhardt’s last win of his historic career. The launch itself came nine years ago but nobody at NASA expected what they would find.
“Look very closely at the imagery from the Horizon spacecraft and you can see the number 3 as clear as the wart on my nose,” said data analyst Marvin Radzanowski. “Sure I have been up 48 hours straight with just black coffee and Red Bull keeping me awake but there it is in the lower right hand quadrant in image 2765 as clear as can be. Someone on Pluto loved Dale Earnhardt!”
“Even a first year Physics student knows that it takes 15.3 years for data transferred from our archaic satellite systems to traverse the 4.67 billion miles to Pluto so we might be able to monitor the the Plutonians reaction to the death of Dale soon,” said Radzanowski.
Attempts to ask NASA, NASCAR, Richard Childress Racing and Martha Earnhardt for comment went unanswered but if you look close at the image in question I am sure you can see it if you squint hard enough.
Not only does this prove intelligent life on Pluto but the fact the colony of Dale fans on Pluto do not even realize the great one is dead is very sad indeed.
That’s the way I see it.