Chicagoland Speedway Violates NASCAR Rule Book

In a blatant show of defiance the management of Chicagoland Speedway has gone against at least 35 years of precedence and announced today that they will willfully violate one of NASCAR’s most basic rules. Little did they know when they hired Chicago singing legend Jim Cornelison to perform the National Anthem at their NASCAR Sprint Cup date in September that they would end up running afoul of the NASCAR rule book.

“Everyone knows about rule 12-1-A which declares that actions detrimental to the sport carry some of NASCAR’s most potent penalties,” said our unnamed NASCAR source on all things NASCAR who we call “Deep Throat.”

“But Chicagoland Speedway has violated the even tougher rule 12-1-D which only applies to NASCAR sanctioned race tracks,” said Mr. Throat in an exclusive interview with this website. “Rule 12-1-D specifies that ‘Each NASCAR track upon securing a date with the sanctioning body will do their utmost best to hire really bad singers for the National Anthem. Violation of rule 12-1-D will bring harsh and severe sanctions against said track and their management.”

When contacted for comment Track President Scott Paddock said,”Who the hell are you? How did you get through my assistant to talk to me? Never call me again loser!”

Jim Cornelison has been singing the National Anthem with such gusto at all Chicago Blackhawk home hockey games that Coach Joel Quinville has said his team is motivated to play 47% better and win 3 Stanley Cups in the last 6 seasons.

Chicagoland Speedway has vowed to continue to please the fans despite notification of the imposition of penalties commensurate with the violation of section 12-1-D. This reporter thinks NASCAR should order another round of drinks at the Chart House restaurant and look the other way on this violation.

That’s the way I see it.

Max

 

 

 

 

 

 

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