NASCAR Introduces New Restart Zone Monitor; Sawyer Dangles From Sky

In an effort to further ensure that all NASCAR Cup Series restarts are fair to everyone and to calm their gigantic fanbase, a new “Restart Zone Monitor” has been introduced for the remainder of the 2015 season. If no tragedies occur (ie free-falling to one’s death), chances are this will be a mainstay in future years.

Based loosely on the success of Erendira Wallenda dangling over Charlotte Motor Speedway recently, it was discovered that the view was incredible and far more exciting for the fans than simply reporting while floating around on a Goodyear blimp or snapshots from a simple overhead camera.

Still in fine physical form after his racing career, Elton Sawyer allegedly volunteered for the position and while being suspended 200′ over the racing surface, will one-handedly text Chad Little his opinion of every restart in NASCAR.

Like really… what could go wrong?


The Boss

I am the brains of the operation and run the technical side of things, have no less than 300 or 400 close personal contacts that I cajole with on a regular basis. I view, I compose, I write....

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